This excerpt is helpful to me:
We all experience them: anger, resentment, envy, jealousy, defensiveness, lust, and others. These are a part of the temptations spoken of by Paul (1 Corinthians 10:13). The important thing is what we do with these feelings. A follower of Christ is not to be controlled by his feelings.This is what is referred in Proverbs 25:28 as self-control. Well then, how do we handle these feelings? This triad should help answer that:
-Our Emotions React. We all have feelings that are set off by a variety of stimuli. It is important that we admit these feelings. It is destructive to try to deny or suppress them. But, as followers of Christ, we are not to be controlled by these initial reactions.
-Our Intellect/Minds Evaluate: We are responsible to “set our minds” (Colossians 3:2) and think through our emotional responses and their possible results. It is at this point that the Bible is so important. The more we know of what the Bible says, the more truth we have by which to evaluate our reactions. This will also help us to know what to do with the feelings we are experiencing.
-Our Wills Choose: Having had the initial reaction and having evaluated, we now must choose our course of action. Here is the crucial step! Our evaluation may have told us that our feelings/reactions are not biblical; they are neither constructive nor loving. In spite of this we may choose to act on the basis of our feelings. This would be an immature response and behavior. It is also disobedience and sin (James 4:17). However, the mature choice, the one that we have been discussing in order to change our thought patterns, is to heed the evaluation and act responsibly as a result of the evaluation even though our feelings might not seem to match what we are called to.
~Borrowed from ‘Changing Your Thought Patterns’ by George Sanchez NavPress, 1983